My mom adventures in Fort Collins

I’m out of touch

True confessions from a person who is sadly apathetic to this fact.

  1. I own nothing made by Apple. To be completely honest, I did own an ipod shuffle circa 2004, and Cory used it for a while until it finally broke.

    For all I know, this version doesn't even exist anymore and it's sitting in the Smithsonian. (from

  2. I don’t have a smart phone.I have the same flip-phone that I purchased in December 2008.

    Okay, my phone isn't quite this old, but still. (from

  3. I don’t have cable TV.If it weren’t for tabloid magazines at the gym, I would have no idea who any reality TV stars are.

    I should say, I do know who some reality stars are. Seriously, who is this broad? (from

  4. I like to use the English language a certain way. I do not use emoticons, and I refuse to use “lol.” If and when I text, I don’t abbreviate and I never use numbers for words. “You’re” is not the same as UR, no matter how many times I read it that I way. I would rather punch the number 1 fifteen times to find the apostrophe than to go down using UR. Not on my watch.

    This is what you might as well be saying to me. I can't read this stuff. (from

  5. I do not use a GPS.I actually really love maps, and I love finding my sense of direction. I remember trying to give someone directions to my house, and after the third time of her asking, “Can I just have your address?” I finally realized that no one wants my stinkin’ directions. They’d rather have a screen tell them where to go. I think my feelings got hurt a little.

    I mean, Dora gets along just fine without GPS. (from

As further commentary on my distance from mainstream America, I was somewhat shocked by this notion: Apparently, no one likes voicemail anymore. Here, read this about how pointless voicemails are. I will tell you that I have no feelings about voicemail (a sign that a person is truly out of touch is that his or her opinion is nonexistent, as in “I didn’t even know I should have an opinion about that!”). It’s neither here nor there. I leave them. I do realize that leaving a message longer than 10 seconds is a bit tedious to deal with. But I will not cave by texting you because you think it’s easier to read a message. I hate to be contrary, but I think it’s a pain to write my thoughts with a keyboard where I have to type the same number multiple times in order to find the correct letter (see number 4 above) as opposed to just speaking my thoughts. So, I will continue to leave a voicemail. Consider it a quaint little piece of old-timey technological antiquity when I leave you a message.

Please join me by telling me any ways in which you are out of touch, and, if applicable, why you are okay with it. Maybe you’re not okay with it. And that’s okay, too. Or, maybe you’re completely in touch. In which case, tell me what stuff has truly changed your life.


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You sound like a very cool person!

Comment by brainvomit40

Aw, shucks. You must get that it’s hip to be square. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Comment by jaymers

I’m just as out of touch. I have a pink shuffle and I have a flip-phone. So not cool. I do not have cable, a dvr, or a gps. So sad. I could really use a gps, because I get lost. A lot. Here’s a secret, I don’t even like to text.

I’m ok with out-of-touch mom, most of the time. 😉

Comment by the domestic fringe

Thank you for sharing your own experience. Maybe there’s a club for us?

Comment by jaymers

Your thoughts are always welcome

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