My mom adventures in Fort Collins


A mother’s love

If you think I’m about to extoll the virtues of attachment parenting, or insist that everything in mommyhood is nothing but lilacs and love letters, fear not. I am about to go down a road that I don’t often venture down (for good reason): Bodily fluids.

I am going to share with you the extent that love for a child will go… lengths I didn’t even know it could go to until tonight. *Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Tonight, a sweet family set out on a run-of-the-mill adventure: grab ice cream and get a few things accomplished. This is something they do maybe twice a month. They drive through Culver’s and get two small dishes of chocolate, and then run a few different errands. Tonight, the task list included sending a package at the self-serve kiosk at the Post Office, grabbing some potting soil and exchanging a propane tank at Lowe’s, and filling up at the gas station.

All was well, the kids enjoyed their ice cream as the family drove around. When the family reached Lowe’s, Dad jumped out of the car and went into the store, leaving the others to wait in the car. Daughter #1 (we’ll call her “Sally”) started complaining about having to go potty. At this point, Daughter #2 (we’ll call her “Riley”) had just dozed off, so the mom told Sally that since Riley was sleeping and she didn’t want to wake her, they would wait for Dad to return and he would run Sally back into the store to use the bathroom. The mom contemplated calling the dad on his cell, but she was fairly convinced that she’d only catch him in line and he was bound to tell her he’d come out to the car as soon as he could.

Sally persisted. “I have to go potty so bad, mom.” “Really, mom, it’s coming.” “I’m going to wet my pants, mom, can’t I just go outside?” On and on. The mention of “outside” had peaked the mom’s curiosity though. Ever the little camper, Sally often relieves herself in the great outdoors. The mom thought, “That little stinker is making a big show of having to pee and all she really wants to do is see if I’d let her drop trou in the Lowe’s parking lot. Well played, Sally, well played.”

That mom did what any kind, loving, courteous mother would do: She called that kid’s bluff. There, in the car, the mom offered to put one of Riley’s pull-ups on Sally so that she could go to the bathroom. The mom never thought the kid would go for it, and further more, she figured that even if Sally put the training pants on she’d never actually want to sit in her own urine.

As a four-year-old (almost five-year-old) who’d been potty trained for about two years, how do you really know you don’t like to sit in your own urine? There’s only one way to know for sure.

That was the beginning of the story. Here’s the middle: Sally went to the bathroom on her mother’s lap, in the pull-up. Here’s the end of the story: Apparently, 2T-sized pull-ups are not intended to hold a big girl’s potty. That sweet, endearing, selfless mother can attest to the fact that her entire skirt–front and back–was soaked. It is an awkward feeling to have your underwear soaked in urine at age 35. Even stranger when that urine is not your own.

I want to believe that pull-ups can help big kids... but I've got wet spots all over my skirt that say otherwise. (from spiffyspotlights.blogspot.com)

Mom and Sally laughed hysterically, of course. What else is there to do when the power-play pull-up you put on your nearly-five-year-old daughter doesn’t keep its promise to stay leak-free?ย  They kept laughing for a while, and then they saw Dad coming out of Lowe’s with the potting soil. Oh, if only…

The mother removed the sopping wet training pants from Sally, and the kiddo put her knickers and pj bottoms back on. Fresh as a daisy that little one. Mom, not so much.

The ride home was uncomfortable for everyone. Except Riley, of course, because that kid slept through the whole thing.

I want to believe that I could have worn this dress and created an entirely different situation... but my daughter doesn't know how to use a urinal anyway. (From fashionablygeek.com)

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6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Lesson learned, mama! ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by Chris

Yes, but why are there so many lessons? And why must I keep learning the same ones over and over? Thanks for commenting!

Comment by jaymers

Oh, you poor thing! I have been the victim of a pull-up issue before and it wasn’t pretty. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Comment by jeandayfriday

Should we form a club? Victims of Pull-Ups United–VPUU–is NOT looking for any new members, may everyone have better luck than us!

Comment by jaymers

This made me laugh (& laugh) & laugh… thanks for sharing ‘the lesson’ – my bed-fast quadriplegic Papa has had a few ‘accidents’ recently & it’s a good thing to be able to laugh about… ‘Love looks like this’ & all that… : )

Comment by Virginia

Oh good gracious, if you ever want to have a laugh over bodily fluids, you just let me know. We have laughs like that around here practically daily. Thanks for commenting!

Comment by jaymers




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